Be Our Guest! (Making Family Mealtime a Priority) Mindy Cutler With Andrea Peery & Melissa Cutler #1 Why is family mealtime important? #2 How do I make family meal time a priority? #3 A planning system #4 Mealtime Do s & Don ts #5 Ideas for families with young children #6 Ideas for families with teenagers #7 Mealtime Traditions #8 Summary
#1 Why family mealtime is important A. The most important guests you will ever have at your table are your own family. B. Mealtime is a time to connect with each other and strengthen the family. C. Eating family dinners is one of the most important tools for grounding your kids. It s around the supper table that we communicate who we are and what we believe. 1 D. Families who sit down together for a least one meal a day eat more nutritiously than those who don t 2 E. Families who eat dinner together experience less family conflict than families who do not eat together. 3 1 Desperation Dinners, Beverly Mills, with Alicia Ross, Deseret News 9-20-06 2 USA Weekend March 23-25, 2007 from the editors of Parenting Magazine 3 Family mealtime creates unity, Church News 12-09-06
F. Researchers say children who eat regular family meals are twice as likely to get A s in school, 45 percent less likely to try alcohol and half as likely to be highly stressed or suffer extreme boredom. 4 G. Regular family meals have been associated with improved dietary quality and family members food related attitudes and behaviors. For example teenage girls whose families eat together regularly are less likely to develop an eating disorder. 5 H. The family proclamation states fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. Family mealtime provides the perfect setting for fulfilling these responsibilities. 4 Desperation Dinners, Beverly Mills, with Alicia Ross Desert New 9-20-06 5 Family mealtime creates unity. Sarah Jane Weaver, Church News 12-09-06
#2 How do I make family meal time a priority? I believe that there are three elements in making family meal a priority. These are planning, family support, and family member involvement. Planning is essential in making meal time a priority. It helps eliminate stress at the mealtime itself. It makes sure that you have the ingredients you need for what ever meal you are preparing. It helps you save money by making fewer trips to the grocery store or fast food resturants. Planning also makes it easier to involve other family members in preparation and clean up. It makes family mealtime a reality rather than a dream. Family support is essential for family meals to be a priority. Have a family home evening on the topic and discuss what works best in your family. Our family owns a business and because we all have worked there our meals are often much later than a normal family but we are together. Do what works for your family. Family member involvement starts when you are newlyweds and continues from there. When we were first married my husband set the table and helped to clear the dishes. When children came they helped set the table and clean up. When they became teenagers and young adults they became responsible for cooking some of the meals. When a family member feels a sense of responsibility for some part of the
meal they also feel a sense of wanting to be there and a part of the family. There are as many ways to plan ahead as there are families. You can make meals for the week on Saturday and put them in your freezer. You can make double batches and put one in the freezer for later. You can put something in the crock-pot in the morning and it will be ready for you at night. Family members can each have their own night to prepare supper. The key is to find what works for your own family. The following is a planning system that has worked for us. It takes in effect not only the meals but what is going on in the family.
#3 A planning system This planning system has worked for me over the years and is very simple to do. I use a simple three ring spiral bound notebook. Step 1. Write a list of main course ideas. I put these ideas on the inside cover of the notebook. Step 2. Make meal calendar. Make a box for each day with any items that might effect mealtime. I do this for one week at a time. Coordinate this calendar with your family s schedule. Make sure to list anything that will affect mealtime (family night, temple night, Home, Family, & Personal Enrichment night or activities, Parent Teacher conferences, ball games, birthdays, Mutual activities, weather, cultural events, date nights, etc.) Step 3. Look in ads. Check to see if they have any good buys for items you want to keep in your food storage or meats that you can build the week around (turkey, chicken, or roasts for example) Step 4. Fill in the calendar with meals that will work with the schedule. Step 5. Check pantry for items you already havethat are needed to prepare the meals you have planned and then write a list of what needs to be purchased at the store. I write this list to the side of the meal calendar in my notebook.
Sample pages in my notebook: Sample Main Course Ideas (This is on inside cover of Notebook) Barbeque Chicken Ranch Chicken Smothered Chicken Parmesian Chicken Chicken Enchiladas Chicken Noodle Soup Chicken & Broccoli Chicken & Rice Chicken Salad Chicken Fingers Grilled Teriyaki Chicken Chicken Stir Fry Chicken Egg Rolls Shepherds pie Hamburgers Hamburger stroganoff Spaghetti Meatloaf Stuffed Green Peppers Tacos Lasagna Turkey Hot Dogs Roast Beef Beef Enchiladas Beef Pot Pie Beef Stew Salmon Halibut Shish-ka-bobs Pork Roast Pulled Pork barbeque Pork Chops Shake & Bake Pork Chops Clam Chowder Vegetable Soup Grilled cheese sandwiches Chili Scones Tatar tot casserole Ham and Funeral potatoes Ham sandwiches Layered Ham casserole Ham and browned rice Turkey Pot Pie
Sample Ad Page (As the notebook is opened this would be on the left page. Your menu calendar and list on the right page.) Grocery Store #1 Store #3 Cereal 8/12.00 Milk 3/6.00 Strawberries 2/3.00 Sprite 5/12.00 Asparagus 1.59 lb Dryers 4/10.00 Ice Cream 2/5.00 Strawberries 2/3.00 Cake Mix.79 Asparagus 1.79 Eggs 1doz.89 Pineapple.88 Oreos 1.88 Eggs.99 Butter 3/5.00 Stovetop 1.00 Pineapple 1.00 Dove Chocolate 2/5.00 Robin Eggs 2/3.00 Store #2 Asparagus 1.29 lb Chicken Breasts 1.77 lb Stuffing 1.00 Pineapple 1.00 Cake Mix.79 After looking at these ads. I check my pantry to see if I need to stock up on any sale items. Then I go to the store which has the most of what I need and add those pantry stocking items to my list.
Sample Meal Calendar & Shopping List Week 1 Sunday (March 25) Fast Sunday (something easy and quick to fix) Barbeque Chicken Peas, Tossed Salad, Rolls, Fresh Fruit Strawberries & Angel Food Monday (March 26) Family Night Hamburger Stroganoff Green Beans, Strawberries No Bake Cookies & Ice Cream (Family Night Treat) Tuesday (March 27) Storm predicted (weather affects our family business and when we get home from work) Chicken Noodle Soup Apples Wednesday (March 28) Jordan at Convention (This meant only 3 at home) Manicotti, Green Beans, Tossed Salad Thursday (March 29) Carmelized Pork Friday (March 30) Date night, go out to eat with friends Milk (2) Potatoes Bananas Eggs Horseradish sauce 7up Strawberries Salad Mix (2) Frozen roll dough Pineapple Sour Cream Hamburger Onion Carrots Celery Apples Manicotti noodles Ricotta cheese Yogurt Orange Juice Hamburger buns Lettuce Tomatoes Cheese Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Saturday (March 31) General Conference (Priesthood) (going up to cabin) Hamburgers, grilled pineapple, relish Tray. Chocolate chip cookies. Cold Cereal SOS pads I can t belive it s not butter spray * In my pantry I already had frozen chicken, green beans, peas, spaghetti sauce, pork loin, chicken broth, soy sauce, angel food cake mix, sugar, oatmeal, cocoa, spices, butter and egg noodles. When shopping I added to my pantry some items that were on sale this week.
Sample Meal Calendar & Shopping List Week 2 Sunday (April 1) General Conference Waffles of Breakfast Scones for Lunch Turkey for Dinner Stuffing, Salad, Peas, Yams, Rolls Monday (April 2) Family Night Tacos, Corn, Black Beans, Tuesday (April 3) Temple Night Turkey Enchiladas Wednesday (April 4) Young Men Smothered Chicken Thursday (April 5) Melissa coming home Round Steak Mashed Potatoes Corn Friday (April 6) Carmelized Pork Saturday (April 7) Decorating Easter Eggs Sandwiches & soup Strawberries Whipping Cream Eggs Milk Bisquick Turkey Stuffing Potatoes Yams Salad Mix Garbage Sacks Yogurt Taco Mix Lettuce Orange Juice Onion Pepper Beef Bouillon Tortilla Shells Bottled Water Storage Bags Bread Sour Cream Grapes Apples Bananas Green Chillies *In my pantry I already had round steak, pork loin, cheese, flour, yeast, chicken, and tunafish. I added the garbage sacks, storage bags, and some more chicken this week.
Having a plan will help you avoid the What do I fix tonight syndrome? and will let you know how you can use help from other family members. For example on Temple Night. I fixed the enchiladas in the morning before I went to work. We went straight from work to the temple and when we got out of the temple I called my son who put them in the oven and the meal was ready when I got home. I look at my plan before going to bed so I know what I need to do the next day. Having the plan is great but I have also learned to be flexible. For instance in the two weeks shown. I did not make caramelized pork the first week because we had so much leftovers we just ate them and I took a break from cooking. On the second week a surprise meeting came up on Wednesday so We had to grab some sandwiches. Our daughter also did not come home from college on the day she thought she would so we switched her favorite meal to the next night. A successful plan is also reasonable. In the plans shown only 1 meal took more than 1 hour to prepare. Most of them took less than 30 minutes. I am a work out of the home mom and make simple meals. The important part of the meal is that we are together not that the food is gourmet.
#4 Mealtime Do s & Don ts A. Create a friendly atmosphere. Speak positively about family members and others. Treat family members like the guests that they are. You would never call a guest who spilled their milk an idiot or stupid if they confused the President of the Church with the President of the Country. Avoid lecturing at the table. Correct manners with humor. Bring up homework and chores before or after dinner is finished. No one wants to come and eat when they know they will only be nagged about something. B. Avoid Interruptions. Have a designated phone answerer who says We re having dinner right now, I ll ask him or her to call you back as soon as we ve finished. If someone comes to the door, I invite them either to eat with us or to come back in a few minutes. C. Turn off the TV It is hard to have any meaningful conversations when you are competing with the ball game, the game show, the news or weather. D. Conversation starters(if needed) What happened at school today that was different than usual? Did you see what was in the newspaper today? How about the Cougars, Jazz, (or what ever the family s team is)? What did you think about the talk at church or conference? Do you know what felicitous means? (Pick two or three new words from the dictionary) Where would you like to go on a vacation? What are your plans for the weekend?
E. Involve the whole family Have family members help set table, wash fruits and vegetables, prepare main dishes, clean up, plan their favorite meal, etc. When the family member has a part in the meal they are more likely to be there to eat it! F. Presentation can be everything! Make the food look good by having different colors of food on the plates. Use fun place settings on holidays. Set a complete table as if guests were coming (because they are). Serve dinner with a smile! G. Mealtime can be fun! Take supper to the park for a picnic. Have green food on St. Patrick s day, heart shaped food on Valentine s day, a cake or Jell-o made in a flag shape for Flag day, Dutch oven cooking on Pioneer Day, etc.
#5 Helps and ideas for families with young children. A. Have dinner at the same time. Consistency works best with small children. B. Let them help by putting on the place mats. Then moving up to helping set the table, stirring things, putting ice in the glasses, washing fresh fruits and vegetables, etc. C. Let them help clean up also by removing their plates, then working up to dishes. D. Have fun with what they are learning. For instance have green eggs and ham when they are reading the book. When they are eating oatmeal tell the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. Serve spaghetti if they are learning about Italy. E. Teach manners and what is acceptable behavior when they are small. F. Let them pick what is for dinner when you are planning the menu.
#6 Helps and ideas for families with teenagers Mealtime is very important in helping our children to be prepared to go on missions. A. Have teenager responsible for planning, cooking and cleaning up one meal a week. (If they are making the meal they will be there to eat it!) B. Teach them how to make meals such as tacos, soup, spaghetti, etc that could be cooked on hot plate or single burner since many missions do not have ovens. Show them how to enhance simple meals with fruits, vegetables, and salads to make them more nutritious. Have them practice cooking in a white shirt and tie (with apron if possible to learn how to cook without staining clothes. C. Once a month make food or go out to eat at a restaurant that specializes in food different than from your own country. You can find cookbooks at the library. In the Provo-Orem area there are Indian, Korean, Italian, Mexican, Brazilian, Thai, Chinese, Japanese, Argentine, Vietnamese, and American restaurants. Exposing your children to different kinds of foods will make it easier for them to adjust to the food in the mission where they serve. Knowing how to plan and make simple meals will also help them when they move away to college or get married.
#7 Mealtime Traditions Food and mealtime can be some great family traditions. Here are some that my own family enjoys. Tacos for Family Night Waffles, strawberries and ice cream for breakfast on birthdays and holidays. Pineapple or apple pancakes when we have visitors. Scones in between sessions of conference. Steak and Shrimp for Christmas dinner. Turkey dinner for thanksgiving. Sparkling apple cider for special occasions.
#Summary One of the greatest blessings we have in this life are our families. No matter what our situation in life we are all part of some family. Anything we can do to strengthen our families and help us to be an eternal family is something we should make a priority. Family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening and family meal times are all opportunities for us to show our family how much we love them and to teach them the things which they need to know and do to return back to our Heavenly Father. Family mealtime gives us a natural opportunity to talk with, nourish, teach, and love one another. When Beauty was invited to Be Our Guest at the dinner table in the beast s castle everything was done to make her feel special. We too can make our family the special guests every day and use this time to strengthen our families.