Revision (who? what? why? WHAT?!) Wally Holland BE wri;ng tutor
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1 Revision (who? what? why? WHAT?!) Wally Holland BE wri;ng tutor
2 What I m good for MIT 01 (6/CMS), 03 (M.S. in CMS) teaching sci/eng with video games Freelance writer/editor The textbook industry is doomed Crea%ve solu;ons to technical problems Course 20 in- house wri;ng tutor By appointment any;me; open hours? Bring me any wri0en work, we ll tear it apart and put it back together
3 All wri;ng is technical Has a specific purpose Acknowledges reader expecta;ons characterize a problem + its solu;on or tell me a story about Batman Maintains formal consistency as aid to understanding (if you slow my reading you damage my comprehension)
4 OK, so what is technical wri;ng? Explicit audience expecta;ons Strict formal rules Form aids comprehension Comprehension (yours, ours) is everything Shared prior knowledge i.e. some tech vocab is OK You re here to learn which
5 Read the guidelines. Read your journal ar3cles. Know them!!!!
6 First dra]s: internal documents They re always bad It is OK to make mistakes here IT IS OK TO MAKE MISTAKES HERE The first dra] is for you Revision is transla;on from you- language to public- language
7 Revision: easier than it seems Revision is not op;onal It con;nues a process of discovery Incorpora;ng feedback is a solved problem Do you have a workflow? Know your tools Budget %me for revision This neat thing called paper and the human voice
8 A wri;ng/edi;ng example Highly formal, ;ght spec Extensive but invisible jargon Density/skimmability are paramount You re already expert readers
9 Rough dra] Prepara;on of cookies with chocolate chips Materials 2C flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon NaCl, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C sugar, 3/4C brown sugar, bowl, oven Procedure Ovens enable the hea;ng of raw foods. I whisked all ingredients but chocolate chips using Rubbermaid- brand kitchen products. S;red the chocolate chips into bowl. Heat 350degrees. Serve.
10 Ouch. S;ll, you could cook from it, right?
11 Headings aid comprehension Prepara;on of cookies with chocolate chips Materials Searchable? Skimmable? Readable? 2C flour, 1 teaspoon baking Know soda, the 1 norms teaspoon NaCl, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C sugar, 3/4C brown sugar, bowl, (expecta;ons): oven Ingredients Procedure Ovens enable the hea;ng of raw foods. I whisked all ingredients but chocolate chips using Rubbermaid- brand kitchen products. S;red the chocolate chips into bowl. Heat 350degrees. Serve. If the procedure is divided, divide your representa;on of it: why not (1) Mix (2) Bake, or (1) Prep (2) Heat? What are the func;onal units here?
12 Consistency aids comprehension Prepara;on of cookies with chocolate voice = readable chips Materials Direct, ac;ve Verb 2C tense! flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon NaCl, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C Who sugar, is the Rubbermaid, 3/4C brown sugar, bowl, oven reader? really? Inconsistent Procedure nomenclature Ovens enable the hea;ng of raw foods. I whisked all ingredients but chocolate chips using Rubbermaid- brand kitchen products. S;red the chocolate chips into bowl. Heat 350degrees. Serve. Inconsistent scale: the ac;ons you call out should more or less have the same scale, so choose useful abstrac;ons: I poured unicorn milk into the beaker, I li]ed it, I sipped is less useful than I drank unicorn milk. The beaker part can be hidden without penalizing the reader. But unicorn can not.
13 Density aids comprehension (no;ce a padern here?) Prepara;on of cookies with chocolate chips Chocolate chip cookies Which sugar? Don t leave Materials things out, compress. 2C flour, 1 teaspoon Dense baking soda, short. 1 teaspoon NaCl, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C sugar, 3/4C brown sugar, bowl, oven Know what s relevant; be Procedure clear on prior knowledge Ovens enable the hea;ng of raw foods. I whisked all ingredients but chocolate chips using Rubbermaid- brand kitchen products. S;red the chocolate chips into bowl. Heat 350degrees. Serve. Know who s reading and write to their exper;se This I is out of place. Reading aloud will make this obvious!!!!
14 I got 7 th in the Na;onal Spelling Bee Prepara;on of cookies with chocolate chips Materials 2C flour, 1 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon NaCl, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C sugar, 3/4C brown sugar, bowl, oven If you waste brain on spelling errors Procedure Ovens enable the hea;ng of raw foods. I whisked all ingredients but chocolate WE chips WILL using Rubbermaid- brand kitchen products. S;red the chocolate chips into bowl. Heat 350degrees. Serve. DESTROY YOU WITH ROBOTS MS WORD CAN NOT BE TRUSTED. USE YOUR OWN EXPERTISE: READ ALOUD, REREAD, REWRITE, TRUST YOUR GUT.
15 Should ve listened to Wally. Should ve checked my spelling. This sort of thing really does happen.
16 Changes to our first dra] Ingredients Chocolate Chip Cookies 2C flour, 1tsp baking soda, 1tsp NaCl salt, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C white sugar, 3/4C brown sugar, bowl, oven Prep Ovens enable the hea;ng of raw foods. Whisk all ingredients but chocolate chips using Rubbermaid- brand kitchen products. S;r the chocolate chips into bowl. Bake Heat Bake at 350F ;l golden brown (9-11m). Serve.
17 Final dra]? Ingredients Chocolate Chip Cookies 2C flour, 1tsp baking soda, 1tsp salt, 2 s;cks buder, 3/4C white sugar, 3/4C brown sugar Prep Whisk all ingredients but chocolate chips. S;r chips into bowl. Bake Bake at 350F ;l golden brown (9-11m).
18 Your moment of Zen 1 st dra]: ego (your experience, your language) It s an internal document: your thoughts on paper Revision: giving away the work Transla;ng into shared language Problem solving is ongoing Final dra]: shapes someone else s thoughts
19 Further revision? (op;onal) Chocolate Chip Cookies Whisk [ingredients]. S;r in 1 bag chocolate chips. Bake 350F ;l golden brown (9-11m). Wonderful density Note prior knowledge Not chronological presenta;on What s whisk? Where? Know your oven! Note total absence of style You the author don t mader here good text works. Period.
20 To recap Tech wri;ng is a well- understood problem We have several programma%c solu;ons Effec;ve wri;ng processes will help Less cramming Clearer, more useful wri;ng which beder reflects your understanding /call any;me: waxbanks@gmail.com, (617)
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